Todd Charles Newton

My Toddy <3 Today Sept 5th 2014 would have been your 25th Bday. I have had 3 perfect days in my life! and one of those days was when you were born <3 You came into the world a month earlier then expected.... You were just a lil guy 4 lbs 16 oz. You were soooo little. But handsome and strong for a lil man. You grew fast and before I knew it you were almost bigger then Sean :) you two were sooo cute aat first he didnt like you much, he was jealous. BUT it wasnt long before he wanted to hold you and help me take care of you and you two became inseperable. You grew from that lil preemie baby into a buff young man who luved sports and luved his family more then anything. I remember some of the jokes you played on me and I cant believe I fell for some of them lol they were good Toddy I will give you that :) you got me on more then one occasion. Some of the best moments of my life were spent watching you on the football field. How proud you made me. you were a class act and I was sooo blessed to be your Mom <3 You had a heart of gold and would gladly sacrifice sooo much of yourself for your team... your friends and most of all your family.

Today ..... I wonder what you would be doing at the age of 25? would you have children? what kind of job would you have? would you be married? what would you have named your kids? I miss seeing the closeness I know you would have with your nephew and godson Brennen and most of all I miss the hugs and kiss;s on the forhead that you allways made sure you gave me everytime I saw you. I miss seeing you and Sean go back and forth and arguing over who was right and then make up by shooting hoops in the yard. I miss the way you would put your arm around Nikki and protect her from the cruel world around her and tell her how special she was.... you were an amazing son BUT an evern more amzing brother that would protect your brother and sister from anything!

Today on your 25th Birthday in Heaven I am sending you all the luv and prayers that I have <3 I wish you were here and  I wish you never would have left BUT I have faith you are in good hands and I promise one day we will again be together and I will hug you tighter then ever before it will be like we had never been seperated and I will just hold you.... and we will laugh again... we will be ONE again <3 just like we were on Sept 5, 1989 when I brought you into this world and you made me the happiest Momma on earth..... I long for that day and until then I will keep our luv safe in my heart and even of 50 more bdays pass I will never EVER forget you.... MY LIL MAN <3 Rest Easy My love and I know today in Heaven all of the angels are throwing you a party <3 a party fit for a KING <3

A new memory im making with Brennen something we do everytime Brennen is at the house and as he gets older he has more questions about Todd.... where he is and why he cant come home and be with us. I have explained to Brennen that Uncle Toddy is in Heaven he is in a place with angels... where there are big fluffy clouds that you can sleep on and jump on, waterfalls and rainbows and all your wishes come true.... a beautful place where Todd now lives with our dogs Sohia and Forty. Brennen and I pray to Todd before Bed at night and ask him to watch over us and the rest of our family and we tell Todd how much we miss and luv him and even though we cant see him he is in our hearts and allways will be. I make sure that Brennen knows how much his Uncle Todd and his Godfather luved him and I will continue that for as long as I am here to do so. Its amazing how close Brennen feels to Todd even though they only knew each other for one short year its like they are somehow linked together and Brennen faithfully kisses Todds picture each time he passes it.... that makes my heart ache a lil bit less knowing that even after I am no longer here thier will be someone else to talk about Todd, tell stories of him, and make sure the memory of my son lives on <3 My grandson is a gift from God and I think he was given to us to help heal the wound that loosing Todd left.... that will never heal but Brennens laughter, hugs, smile, and his luv help me go on and get thru days that sometimes I dont think I can get thru. I see so much of Todd in Brennen ....

Toddy you would have been soo proud too know that soo many people showed up at the field on May 22nd 2011 to celebrate who he was and to play a baseball game in his honor. When I saw all those cars pulling in and all those people showing up for my son and too support our family it made my sadness a little less knowing that my son is still luved and thought of sooo fondly even 2 yrs later... I was soo proud too be his mother and it is obvious he left a lasting impression in the hearts of many I watched Brennen run around with the #40 painted on his lil face as well as the other lil kids.... It tears at my heartstrings knowing Todd isnt here too see Brennen grow up... But I think he watches from afar and is an angel to Many... but especially too Brennen who he luved soo very much, I will allways update his memorial  website NO matter how many more years I live without my son and someday i will sit down with Brennen and we will look at his site and all the memories that we have of Todd... the candles lit by those he luved... BooBoo will allways feel like uncle todd was there when he was growing up because i will make sure he never is forgotten and allways fresh in the mind of Brennen newton.... his godson, his nephew and his lil buddy. BooBoo Newton will allways know he HAS an Uncle Todd who know lives in the Sky with the Moon, the stars and The Angels.....

You left a legacy Todd.... in your short 19 years you left a lifetime of memories... WHAT every person in this world STRIVES for.... which is too leave behind a MEMORY that lasts a lifetime you did that and more in 19 years!!! what an accomplishment that is.... You may have left this world physically my lil man BUT your still ALIVE in the hearts of sooooo Many and I could not be prouder too be your Mom. I promise too say your name and tell stroies of you to ANYONE who will listen :) and allways celebrate the 22nd of May.... either with your many friends and family.... or just by myself.... as a day you left this world too return home too God and the ones who lluv you and left before you...I will turn that sad day into a day of remembering YOU and HOW YOU LIVED LIFE TO THE FULLEST! HOW YOU LUVED AND LAUGHED like there was NO tommorow :) You are in Heaven and I know you are there doing great things and learning many lessons and spending eternal moments with your Nana and Grampa..... I know you will be there waiting for me Todd Charles and what a reunion the two of us will have..... I live for the day I walk into your arms again xoxo Luv Your Mom and alllways your #1 Fan ... "Till We Meet Again" ~~40~~

I sit here at my desk at work everyday and look at all your pictures... NOT one day passes that I dont think of you and miss you. Your left me with sooo many awesome memories in the short 19 years I was lucky enough to have you. One thing about you Todd Newton you could allways make me laugh, ALLWAYS even when I didnt want too, there you were with that huge smile too turn my frown ... upside down. Or a bige hug and kiss on my forehead. You had such a kind heart lil man. I am so proud of who you were and the caring young man you became... You were allways the one at every family event whose voice would travel above everyone elses, who's laugh we could hear throguhout the house and the one that we could count on for a good joke :) I wish you were here too see how much Sean has changed.... he has matured into such a great father he has been strong for me when i couldnt be and he is soo good to Brennen, Nikki... she is graduating in June and become a confident young lady and learned to stand on her own even though she misses you so much, Dustin...is in the US Army and has made our family sooo proud I cant tell you how proud I am of him and i know you watch over him, Derek.... I know you allways looked up to Derek and I can see why, he is such a great young man and he is in love with an awesome girl and has his own place now. Nana and Popa.... they are strong and doing great things for our soldiers overseas, they are soo young at heart Toddy just like you. Aunt Tammy... She is hanging in there even though I know she worries about Dustin all the time. Uncle Chris... I talk too him everyday and he is making alot of changes in his life, for the better I think your leaving hurt him more then any of us know. and that leaves Brennen "BooBoo" Newton.... OHHHH BOY is he one of a kind! Just like his uncle Toddy was :) I talk about you all the time with him and  when we go outside he allways says "Toddy is in the moon" and blows a kiss to the sky. He kisses your pictures and the room I made for you he calls it Toddy and BooBoo's room. He luvs his Unlcle Todd... I will never let him forget you.... I promise. He is growing so fast and it kills me that your not here too see him, I beleive he sees you and that you watch over him, he allways says Unle Toddy funny, and starts laughing and says "yeah Baby" .... and that leaves ME..... hmmm I cant say much because I still miss you like you left yesterday, there are NO words for how much my heart still aches Todd. The only way i am getting thru all of this is knowing I will be with you again someday I luv you Buddy.......  Memories of you keep me going and allways will till we meet again <3 xoxo

they say time heels all wounds beleive me when i tell you thats not true  it seems like yesterday .it's hard when someone like todd and i shared so muchin life i guess more than anyone will ever know theres not a ball game that goes by that i keep thinking todd will call me and say papa  did you see that home run or papa go too channel 541  sports center . and then when he was a yong boy we also collected coins together . he'd say papa some day i will buy that 4 you i'd say ok todd he ment it too  there something about living no one can take away your memories or the love we shared and he'll always be in my mind and my thoughts and theres no doubt in my mind when its my time to go todd will be right there to show me the way and i cant wait love buddy

.                                                                                                      papa            3 - 7- 11

WITH THE BOYS ALL I HAD TO SAY LET'S GO 2 FENWAY AND TODD WAS THE FIRST IN LINE . SO OFF WE GO ME DEREK AND YES TODD??  WE HAD TO LEAVE EARLY SO WE COULD GET AUTOGRAPHS AND PICTURES  BUT I THOUGH 5 HOURS WAS STILL EARLY NOT TODD  BUT PAPA HE'D SAY   LOL    ANYWAY  LOOK THERES THEO EPSTIEN  TODD WAS ALL OVER IT AND YES KNOCKING DOWN HALF THE CROWD HE DID GET HIS AUTOGRAPH AND THEN PEDRO WAS NEXT NOW THATS PRETTY GOOD. I'D SIT BACK AND SAY THATS MY BOY , I WAYS SAID I WAS GOING TO TAKE THEM TO FLORDIA SPRING TRAINNING  I WAITED TOO DAMM LONG  AND FOR THAT IAM FOREVER SORRY BUT YOU WILL BE THERE IN MY HEART AND THOUGHTS                                                                                  LOVE   PAPA                                      

I think of Todd everyday and what I miss the most in the house is his voice....his laugh...the sound of how he said "MOM" .... Todd and I shared soooo many great times together over the 19 years I was blessed to have him here. One of the things I allways think about is how he like to "prank" me... He played sooo many little jokes on me, at the time I thought WHY does he do these things too me he makes my blood pressure RISE and gets me everytime!! BUT it was all in good fun he like tooo be a jokestar and make me laugh and at my expense I guess he liked to make his friends laugh too....but I luved that part of Todd he just had such a wonderful kind heart...allways looking for that next opportunity to make someone happy. I luv nothing better then to tell stories of my son because they all are stories of him making life worth living...making life interesting....and making those he luved smile...thats who Todd was. what more could I ask for in a child? I miss you Toddy and the sound of that contagious laugh you had the loud boistrois laugh that echoed thru our house and the sound of your voice when you yelled MOM still plays in my head like your still here....Your laugh lives on in my heart lil man <3 I will never forget you and the joy you brought to my life.....

Lately I have taken Sean, Nikki and Brennen bowling a few times and it brought back a Memory of Toddy.... One Saturday we all went Bowling in Dover and during the ride there Todd kept going on about how he was gonna kick our butts and what a good bowler he was. I hadnt seen Todd bowl since he was just a lilttle kid. But, since he was good at pretty much every sport I figured yeah.... he probably will out bowl all of us. Well Sean and Todd allways had competition no matter what it was they had to compete for it.... and this day was no different. Todd was left handed and we were using big balls so they had holes you had to stick your fingers in, he got his fingers stuck in the first few then finally found one that fit him... So it came to be Toddy's turn and he threw the ball down three times and EVERY TIME it went in the gutter! every time.... finally he said "Mom go ask them to put the bumpers up this isnt fair" well normally gutters are for kids 5 and under... BUT because I wanted Todd to do well :) I had the bumpers put up, he did a little better BUT Sean and Nikki were giving him such a hard time cause he needed the bumpers to get a ball down the lane... He said he was gonna whip our butts! Well for some reason he decided he would try and throw right handed , that way he could take the bumpers down and we would stop giving him a hard time, So he puts his fingers in the holes on his RIGHT hand and runs down and whips the ball!! The ball went airborne and went atleast 3 lanes over! IT WAS HILARIOUS! We all laughed Todd included.... He wasnt the bowling pro he thought he was Football was definetely his Specialty. BUT what a great day that was, we all had such a great time together OUR WHOLE FAMILY together.... I will never forget that smile, that laugh, that humor that my son had, He could light up a room with just his smile. I miss you Todd Charles and I will allways remember our days together as a family and thats what will keep me going until we meet again....

I remember back in late April-Early May, Toddy was at my house where me and Nicole lived with our son Michael, Toddys cousin Dustin and Emily, as well as her daughter Maddie. Toddy would come over almost every night to hang out with us, but one specific night stands out in my memories. Toddy was sitting on my couch and I was holding Michael, who as just under six months at the time. Toddy held out his arms asking me to let him hold Michael, and I kind of looked at him sideways, forgetting for the moment he has his nephew Brennan he adored, and Toddy didnt seem like the "baby person". Anyways, I passed of my son to Toddy and Michael love every minute of toddy playing with him, bouncing up and down, making his goofy faces. I remember it was that moment where I knew Toddy would have been an amazing father. We think about him every day, and I promise my son Michael will always know who his Uncle Toddy. I love you Toddy, think about you every day, I'll see you again one day.

I was listening to that song today by Soulja Boy "Turn My swag on" and It reminded me of Todd. He was so proud of Brennen his new nephew, we were all sitting in the living room listening to this song and Todd decided he is gonna teach Brennen how to dance... and Todd was a good dancer... singer NOT so much:) but he had rhythm. So he danced all around the living room with his collar up doing this funky dance. Brennen never took his eyes off Todd. It was adorable. I knew then Todd would make a great dad someday. He was so good with brennen. And when Brennen hears that song he does a dance, almost like Toddy's dance but he dances all around. Todd would have been so proud that he taught him that. He would allways say "your gonna be a player just like your uncle Todd" He adored brennen and even though Toddy isnt here with us I know Brennen feels him here and will grow up loving Todd and knowing how much Todd loved him. They shared so many special moments in such a short period of time. Toddy knew how to turn his "swag" on and he taught Brennen to  turn his on too :) We love you Toddy Now Allways and Forever :) I miss your singing to me and I miss seeing you dance around the house and I will forever miss seeing you hold Brennen and the love in your eyes when you look at him. I promise to never let him forget you and what a wonderful uncle and god father you were.

The last week has been so very hard for me and I find myself trying so hard to think back on all the great times Todd and I shared. I was driving by the little league field yesterday and I pulled over and I watched the boys out on the field playing and I remembered all the times I sat there at that same field and watched Todd play ball. I never missed a game I loved going too watch my little boy run around those bases and he grew up so fast, he went from a little teeball player to one of the youngest boys to ever play on the junior league, He made me so very proud. He used to say "Mom park your car close to the fence because Im gonna hit one out of the park just for you and I'll aim for your windshield!" what will you give me if I hit one out of the park Mom and hit your car? He said that to me every game!! and I allways parked my car right where Toddy wanted and encouraged him to "break away" cause that was my job as Toddy's Mom to stand behind him, encourage him, cheer him on and love him. And I was and will allways be "Todd's Biggest fan" I will miss you Todd every day I drive by those fields, the fields I watched you play baseball and football on for sooo many years, I looked forward to those games more then anything and you allways were my star and you allways will be my star Todd. You gave me the best Friday nights of my life Todd Charles, there was no other feeling then the feeling I felt when I watched you on that football field, you played so hard and played with so much heart and there is NOTHING in this world that has made me prouder, I looked forward to every friday when I could walk into those stands and hear my sons name over and over because you were on that field making your family, your teamates, your coaches and your town so proud, you were a true leader to your team and showed such sportmanship to your opposing teams, watching you as you would help us the guy on the other team after you just tacked him as hard as you could , there you were with a hand to lift him up, I knew then I had raised you right, you had the biggest heart Toddy and you wore that heart on your sleeve and allways showed class on that field. I remember we would go home after the game and wait for Friday night lights to come on just to get a glimpse of you on TV.... and on Saturday mornings we were at the store bright and early to get that newspaper so we could cut out the article on the game. My heart breaks that you are gone little man but we had so many great years together and we made memories that noone can ever replace and you are and forever will by Momma's hero and Nothing can ever take that from us! I am so glad I can say that I NEVER missed one of your games and the feeling it gave me to be Todd Newtons Mom is "irreplacable" You my son were truly a young man that loved and lived life to the fullest and I will think of you every moment of every day for the rest of my life and NEVER forget the love we shared.... Momma loves you xoxo

hey tonight 7-11-09 me and nikki and jojo were taking pictures at 3am.. and omg man we got alot we had goodtimes buddy me and n jojo and nikki loved that moment.

<memorie>
me and nikki were on the couch and aunty goes alright guys sit on the couch and take a picture. she got a pic of me nikki and todd do you get it. alright EVERBODY sit and get in the picture and in her mind she was saying you too todd. and after that moment i was so freaked i cuddle up to aunty because while nikki was taking more good pictures. then i said toddy i want a picture and me n nikki were getting in the picture and jojo bumped her knee and made us laugh and she pushed the button while she bumped her leg and got me n nikki laughing. then we toke more of other places and toddy boy kept getting in the pictures then when i wanted to get in the picture i was still scared and he didnt want one:( but then we got in hyper again and then we toke more and more and more. if you want picture then all you do is think about toddy boy and relaxe your mind and take them dang picture and there he is he dont want to leave us!!! i love toddy and we all do. ITS NOT GOODBYE FOREVER TODDY ITS ONLY SEE U LATER!

 This is so hard,  we miss you so much Todd....Those 2am wake up dad' whats up?
phone calls in the middle of the night to say 'hey',were you sleeping? we always knew who it was, and you and dad would talk and id just listen, that meant alot to him.....thank you for that, id do anything for one of those calls! i miss your smile,and the smerk you'd get when you were joking around.
   You , Sean and Nikki were always so good to me, you made it so easy to love you. I remember when you first stayed at my house for a visit, and you really wanted to watch this movie coming on, and nikki was a little excited and being a little loud and you couldnt hear  the tv good. you said Hey nikki come lay down with bubba on the couch and watch this movie with me. she did...I will never forget that image....it was the sweetest thing....you and nikki cuddled up on the
couch...you melted my heart that very first day... you stole the hearts of all who knew you! we miss you so much Todd... our hearts are broken our love for you eternal....we love you little man.....................xoxoxo......................

I remember all the moves Todd taught and told me to use for the next upcoming fall for football season. He told me that the move are gonna make me go pro. Now the super bowl is never gonna be the same without todd there to explain every rule to the girl that had no clue about the gridiron. Todd was a best friend, brother and mentor to me. Todd please ask god when it comes to me ask him " what it do"
DDB 27
R.I.P 40 224

I have so many memories of Todd we shared 19 amazing years together and from the time Toddy was a baby he knew how to bring a smile to my face. He was truly one of a kind. He gave me 19 years of unforgettable and unreplaceable love that I will cherish now and forever. He made it a point to call me everyday at work just to say "luv you momma" He allways had a way ofmaking me laugh even on days when I only wanted to cry. His hugs are one thing i will miss everday for the rest of my life. He had such a BIG hug that allways comforted me and made me feel so loved. The friday nights I watched my son on the football fields were and will allways be the proudest moments of my life, He was truly "my star" my hero"  I was so very honored to be his Mom and I will take those memories of watching him grow from my happy baby boy into a happy young man who allways loved his family and brought so much joy to not only his family, but his friends, teammates, teachers, ANYONE Todd met..... will allways remember him for the kindhearted, funny, caring young man he was. He loved to cuddle and be close to those he loved and I will forever miss those hugs from my son. I have a piece of my heart that left with my son and until I can see him again and hold him I can never fill that void. We have so many good memories Toddy and I promise to keep YOUR Memory alive until we meet again in Heaven..... where I promise we will run to each other with arms open and hug like never before................ Momma loves you now and forever little man xoxo